Insights into the mind of someone who was adopted

Insights+into+the+mind+of+someone+who+was+adopted

Nhu Dang, Times Staff

Being adopted from birth brings its own set of challenges into the lives of those who have been adopted.
Being adopted since childhood, I grew up knowing that I was different from other kids. Deep down I knew that being adopted did not define who I was, but it was just a part of my story.
Although adoption for many people is an unfamiliar subject; in reality, it is a beautiful topic for discussion between partners. Not only are the parents blessed by the addition of a baby in their lives, but the children have been saved and can experience a life full of family and love.
For many of the people who have been adopted, they never get to express their emotions about their stories or how they have come to be where they are today. Many of them do not have a platform to share their experiences and feelings about adoption.
Adoption should be a valid choice for all families because there are many children that need loving, caring and stable households. Not just because they were given up by their birth parents; but because the innocent child had no choice in the process, and saving the life of one is a beautiful experience.
There are several different types of adoption: open and closed, foster to adopt and from birth adoptions.
I was adopted from birth. My birth mother actually picked out my parents for me, a decision I will be forever thankful for.
The family that accepted me as one of their own were able to hold me when I was only 40 minutes old since it was an open adoption.
There are questions that are acceptable and some that are hurtful or offensive to people like me.
The reason why I perceive some comments and questions to be hurtful is the insensitivity of people who are just not familiar with adoption.
When you are not sure of the correct terminology to use when talking to someone such as me, just ask.
Adoption is a tricky subject to talk about.

Five things every adopted kid wants you to know:

  1. The parents I live with are my parents. When in doubt of the terminology for biological parents, use birth mother and birth father.
  2. Just because a child is adopted does not mean they feel out of place or not loved. If anything, we feel more loved and more welcome in the place we are in.
  3. Many children do not know why they were put up for adoption, so it is not your place to ask.
  4. Our parents are our parents. So do not ask us if we know where our real parents are. I will simply point to my mom and dad. Parents are the ones that nurture and raise us.
  5. Adoption is not our whole identity. Adoption is how our story began, but it is not our entire story. We do not want to be known as the adopted kids.