{"id":12485,"date":"2019-03-25T22:11:52","date_gmt":"2019-03-26T05:11:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sjcctimes.com\/?p=12485"},"modified":"2019-03-25T22:11:52","modified_gmt":"2019-03-26T05:11:52","slug":"alcoholism-costs-more-than-money","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sjcctimes.com\/es\/12485\/lifestyle\/alcoholism-costs-more-than-money\/","title":{"rendered":"Alcoholism costs more than money"},"content":{"rendered":"
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For a better part of his life, my father has dealt with alcoholism. Though I love him, it has been really hard on me since I was a child. I made him sit in a folding chair in the middle of my room. Across from him with my laptop. I asked him what the Bay Area was like when he was a child.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was good I mean. But it\u2019s different from when I grew up. It was slower. Weather was good. I didn\u2019t realize growing up how cheap the cost of living was back then.\u201d My father has lived in the Bay Area for most, if not all, of his life. He was born in Gilroy in 1974 to his parents who would later end up getting a divorce. Both his parents would remarry people who have kids of their own.<\/p>\n

I took a sip of my coffee and asked the next question, \u201cWhat do you remember most about your childhood?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSkateboarding\u201d I had to refrain from rolling my eyes over my father\u2019s obsession with skating \u201cI started around when I was 7. I remember when we first moved to this side (south side San Jose) all the kids would play hide-and-seek and my friend Max and I would jump off roofs with fake parachutes. We\u2019d also ride bikes all day and make sure we got home before the streetlights were on\u201d I laughed because my mother would let me play outside all day long, but I had to be inside before the street- lights came on.<\/p>\n

\u201cBaseball was also an important part of my life.\u201d He played baseball until he injured his wrist.<\/p>\n

I sighed a bit and looked at him. \u201cAre you ready for the hard questions?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cShoot.\u201d he replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen did you start drinking?\u201d He shifted a bit in his chair but answered anyway.<\/p>\n

\u201cEleven is when I got drunk for the first time. But (I) didn\u2019t start really drinking till 8th grade. Would go around \u2018shoulder tapping\u2019.\u201d Shoulder tapping means him and his friends would stand outside of drug stores and ask adults to buy them alcohol. \u201cYour uncles and I would break into your grandpa\u2019s liquor cabinet. I wanted to be cool.\u201d<\/p>\n

My father is the youngest of all his siblings including his step brothers and step sister. Most of the stories he told me since I was little would be him trying to show his older brothers that he was as cool as them, even if they weren\u2019t actually that cool at all.<\/p>\n

My Father said he had tried every drug you can think of except for Special k, and Peyote. Peyote is a Cactus that makes you have hallucinations. Native Americans use it in rituals.<\/p>\n

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\u201cDo you remember ever being extremely under the influence around me when I was younger?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, not totally. But yeah I was buzzed or hungover a lot when you were a toddler. You said \u2018daddy\u2019s sick again because he drank a lot.\u2019\u201d He says that, but there is a time he was extremely drunk in front of me.<\/p>\n

My mother was pregnant with Dylan (my middle brother) when she realized my dad had an is- sue. Even after he went away for a while and came back I don\u2019t think it really hit me that he was dealing with alcoholism until he came back home.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is the one thing you regret the most after one of your benders from when you were a teen or young adult?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cNever got caught. I regret one time I\u2019m at home, I\u2019m in my room. I had a bunch of speed and meth and high on weed. And your grandparents rushed in and found all my drugs.\u201d He started to say how it should have been a sign when Nana and Pop didn\u2019t get him help that things would get worse. \u201cGot kicked out a month later and it did get worse.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou were sober for almost five years up until recently. Would you like to give any information why or how you think it could have been avoided?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, about 8- 9 months ago I started smoking weed and your mom caught me with it. And I felt guilty around the guys at City Team (Rehab group in San Jose). That was the little window that let the devil in, and it went downhill slowly from there. I could\u2019ve not started smoking pot and talked about the dark thoughts I was having. If I talked about it I wouldn\u2019t of done it. It caused me shame and guilt.\u201d<\/p>\n

I remember the day I got home from work and my dad asked if I could drop him off at City Team so he could check in and get clean. I was so angry.<\/p>\n

He had been doing so well and the fact that he just would just go back to his old ways made me lose some trust in him. I remember crying as I was driving away.<\/p>\n

I asked my final question, \u201cAre there any last comments you would want to say?\u201d<\/p>\n

He tries to make a joke that I don\u2019t quite re- member. I know it sucked. \u201cI think during my early adulthood from 18 – 22 the drinking and drugs were a way of self-medicating. \u2018Cause of my ADHD.<\/p>\n

And after it became a habit. I have the disease of addiction. Once I start I can\u2019t stop.<\/p>\n

I believed I needed the weed to calm my mind. I think I\u2019m just a drug addict through and through. Well no, I\u2019m just a recovering one.<\/p>\n

I have some screwed up wounds.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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 <\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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