Dear Emotionally Abused in San Jose,

It seems to me that you are emotionally drained by the constant bickering and situations you have with your mother which you have no control of and this is taking a toll on you.  Before making assumptions thinking your mother hates everything about you; why don’t you try a different approach?

Sit down and write your thoughts and emotions you have when she’s bossing you around, and explain to her of how you are a young adult that needs to be trusted.   You can have a sense of freedom, reassuring her that she raised you well enough to be able to overcome a mistake or two that you may make; this helps you grow as an individual.

Mention to your mom that the yelling matches get both of you nowhere and you want the both of you to have a better relationship where you can come to her rather than find yourself wanting to run away from her.

I agree that going to a family therapist would be beneficial to you, even if your mother doesn’t want to go.  Remember, essentially, you can only fix yourself and have no control over another’s behavior.  I suggest you ask a guidance counselor for any referrals for free to low income therapists or you can google search it.  Almaden Valley Counseling used to offer free of charge services to most public schools, hopefully you fall into the age criteria.

Best Wishes,

Jazzy